Apple Taps Tappy For Board To Ignite Apple Pay

His company sold out and he lost his million-dollar signing deal.

It seemed as though glamour days for Tappy — the big blue eyed, eccentric mobile payment muppet — were over when his singing and payment-inspired tap-dancing days fell to the wayside. His dreams of becoming the next big thing in payments crushed, his future remained uncertain and he was forced into the unemployment line as he dusted off the old resume.

Not anymore.

It seems as though Tappy’s time to shine and ignite the mobile payment industry has come again, and in an unexpected place: Apple, the Muppet’s former nemesis. In an unprecedented move, it is reported that Apple CEO Tim Cook took it upon himself to grab his Apple Watch and call Tappy personally to serve on the company’s board as Cook’s personal advisor on how Apple should innovate itself to get its loyal iPhone customer base to actually care about Apple Pay.

“What can I say,” Apple said in a call with analysts, “Tappy has everything we’re looking for at Apple. He thinks outside the box, he’s innovative, he’s not afraid to speak his mind and most importantly, he sings. How cool is that? When we look to bring new talent to a place like Apple, it’s about finding people — or puppets, in this case — who can shake up how things are done and bring new perspectives to help our products continue to drive Apple’s core business.”

So what exactly will Tappy being advising on? Apple will use his innovative

spirit and natural musical talent to help drive consumer excitement around mobile payments to help understand what exactly it will take to make the Apple Watch tick with those customers. This will involve Tappy conducting national tours, including autograph signing, at Apple stores where this talkative Muppet will be on hand to answer any question about how Apple Pay works and how it can revolutionize the payment experience. Sources also indicate he’s expected to help launch Apple’s next big thing in payments, which is said to involve a new biometric option that allows the consumer to sing or dance as a way to pay.

“You think paying with your fingerprint is easy? Try paying with your talent. That’s one metric that can’t be replicated,” the Muppet said in an exclusive interview with PYMNTS. “I want to take the friction out of the payments experience by making it a little more fun. This means inspiring consumers to show off their signature song or dance. Sure, it might take a few more seconds, but with the ease of Apple Pay, you’ll have the extra time to get a little more out of your shopping experience.”

While rumors indicated that Tappy would be joining Google to help compete against Apple Pay in its new mobile payments scheme, sources close to the company said there was a spat between Tappy and Google CEO Larry Page. But in a phone call with PYMNTS late Tuesday, Page said those rumors are unfounded.

“We wish Tappy all the best as he moves forward with Apple. Tappy was an integral part of Softcard, but the board decided we needed to go a new in a direction,” Page said. “Tappy certainly brings a lot to the table and he’ll fit in perfectly at his new home in Cupertino. We’ll surely be catching up over some happy hours with our old friend.”

Editor’s Note: This article is part of the PYMNTS.com special April Fools edition. Any connection to fact is purely coincidental.