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MasterCard Launches MasterPhones To Make The World Digital

Eighty-five percent of the world’s transactions may still be in cash, but if  MasterCard has its say, 100 percent of them will soon be digital — and done using MasterPhone.

Sources close to the matter told PYMNTS that the Purchase, NY, card network will soon be instructing issuers to wind down the issuance of plastic cards, including EMV cards, for MasterPhones.

MasterPhone will tap into its old marketing strategies with a newly formed slogan to convince consumers just why they need the MasterPhone: “There are lots of things Apple Pay can’t buy, for everything else, there’s MasterPhones.”

The first step in getting widespread adoption of this new innovation is getting the banks to move off of their current focus of issuing EMV cards in favor of issuing MasterPhones. Beta testers say that MasterPhones use low-energy bluetooth beacons and tokenized technology to enable payment to anyone, anywhere and anytime.

“Forget the cards and just turn the phone into the only way to pay,” a MasterCard spokesperson said.

But not everyone in the industry thinks consumers will warm up to the idea of ditching cards and cash.

“There’s just something nostalgic about the mag stripe on the back of a credit card. The sound the terminal makes when you swipe that card — It’s just classic,” says Wayne Bloomberg, a Seeking Alpha analyst, and cousin three times removed of Michael Bloomberg. “I don’t think any consumer is willing to give that up.”

Still, it’s been a key part of MasterCard’s strategy to create a “cashless” society. With the MasterPhone, MasterCard is moving the world ever closer to a totally digital experience.

MasterPhones can be obtained at participating banks starting next week. “It’s the biggest thing to hit payments market since bitcoin, an issuer was heard to say.

Editor’s Note: This article is part of the special April Fools’ edition and is purely fictional. Any connection to fact is purely coincidental.

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