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Area Man Afraid To Admit To Children He Does Not Understand Loop Fob

Newton Massachusetts math teacher Carl Ubritz says he has spent three months staring at the Loop Fob on his kitchen counter, and still has no earthly idea what he is supposed to do with it.

Ubritz reportedly received the fob as a gift from his children, who told him that he could put all of his credit cards in it and stop carrying a wallet.

“But I still have to carry a wallet,” Ubritz noted, “because my driver’s license is in it. So’s my Triple A card. Also, it isn’t like my credit card is heavy or hard to give to someone.  This thing on the other hand, I don’t know, I think my kids meant well, but I don’t get what about this makes my life easier.  I think I’m supposed to plug it into my phone, maybe?  I don’t know, I like my credit card because I understand my credit card.”

Ubritz has said he will attempt to get his wife to use the Loop Fob, since she’s on Facebook and likes this sort of thing.

The above is part of PYMNTS annual April Fools edition and should not be mistaken for serious or factual coverage. This is all in good fun, please don't cite us.

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