Square And Circle Merge To Become Hexagon

To offer customers more ways to buy and sell cryptocurrency, Square and Circle are merging. The new company will be known as Hexagon as of Sunday (April 1), the companies said in a joint statement.

“By unlocking the potential of Square and Circle, there’s no doubt that we’re shaping the future of payments,” said a spokesperson for the companies, who only wanted to be referred to as “trapezoid,” in a interview. “The new name, Hexagon, truly reflects that there are many sides to the payment processing industry. And, whatever name we chose, we knew it had to be a polygon. Circle is, well, just too one-sided.”

To help choose the name, the company actually ran a Facebook poll. Hexagon won out with 60 percent of the votes, with other shapes such as Octagon, Trapezoid and Rectangle as close second, third and fourth, respectively. More than 200,000 people voted in the poll within the first five hours.

The combined company will particularly focus on blockchain technology – and cryptocurrency payments in all shapes and sizes. Building upon Circle’s cryptocurrency trading technology, the combined company will introduce new form factors for crypto payments.

The spokesperson added, “Not to possibly make things any more confusing, we’re planning on bringing new payment methods that people haven’t even thought of. We’re thinking big. Hey, I was even talking to one of our developers about integrating cryptocurrency payments in those noodles that people use at the pool.”

“We’re also working with Hasbro to introduce a new payment option in the Monopoly game. I heard they’re accepting Apple Pay now,” the spokesperson continued. “There are just so many possibilities for payments, and the name Circle or Square simply didn’t reflect that. Our new name reflects our mission – and the shape of our new combined business.”

This story was written as part of PYMNTS’ annual April Fools’ Day edition, all in the spirit of good fun. Any resemblance to real news is purely coincidental. We hope you enjoyed it.


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