Blackberry To ISIS’s Rescue

ISIS is working on an app for the Blackberry 10 operating system. When I saw this story on Friday the first thing I did was to check the date. I mean, could it really be right that ISIS is spending time developing applications for the same Blackberry that is on the block, lost $1 billion last quarter, and is heading for the museums to sit right next to the typewriter and the hula-hoop. No Siree Bob, folks. This, I swear, was last Friday.

It gets even better. According to a representative of the firm that is building the app for ISIS, “The roll out of Isis is a significant step forward for NFC as a mainstream consumer technology. We are delighted to be working with Isis on this very exciting venture.” Now, we’ve heard this before, but how on earth is NFC going to be a mainstream consumer product when hardly any merchant has adopted NFC and everyone—even Google Wallet for goodness sake—is running from NFC like it was the stalker from hell.

Ok, maybe those merchants will get the NFC religion once they find that all those consumers with Blackberries can wave their keyboards. Now at the rate Blackberry is losing consumers—yes, there are still reportedly some businesspeople who are still addicted to typing with their thumbs—merchants will be lucky if they see anyone—I mean ever—with an ISIS enabled blackberry. Someone, somewhere, must think these announcements are convincing someone of something. If you are one of them let us know. Or, maybe I was living in an alternative universe. Done for now. I’m going to head outside and see if merchants have NFC terminals, Apple is on the block following its failed iPhone, and while I’m out I might pick myself up a new hula-hoop.

Notice: This article is not part of the famous PYMNTS.com April Fools Newsletter.