St. Patrick’s Day is nearly upon us — an event associated with big parades, green beer and “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” buttons stuck to everything from hats to bagpipes. Wearing green is still in, but consumers will likely be doing their celebrating at home again in 2021, as major metros have canceled the parades and the CDC strongly recommends not kissing anyone you don’t already know incredibly well, whether or not they happen to be Irish.
At least we still have the Shamrock Shakes. And the Oreo Irish Mint Shake. And the Secret Leprechaun Frappuccino. COVID-19 may have changed a lot of things, but at least our seasonal frozen beverages remain safe. And though the big events are canceled, the committed are carrying on the traditions however they can, according to reports. On Long Island, they’re moving the parade to cars; in Hilton Head, South Carolina, they’re parading on boats; and in Dublin, California, they’re hosting a drive-in Celtic Rock Concert. McGillin’s Olde Ale House in Philadelphia will still be serving green beer for the holiday — they’ll just be doing it from behind plastic screens.
The holiday, it seems, is holding on — just in a slightly different way than it ever has before.
Which set us to thinking: Are there other innovations we could start building into St. Patrick’s Day now, while we have an audience that is unusually receptive to making changes?
And as it turns out, there is. We all know about the old-fashioned pot ‘o gold at the end of the rainbow, the leprechaun’s most prized possession. We say, leave the gold to the little people with the buckles on their shoes. Because as a sign of wealth netted by good fortune, a big pot of gold is … well, it’s made out of data. In the modern day, if one hopes to get rich quick at the end of the rainbow, we think a pot full of crypto is the way to go.
Because in terms of bounty won through magical experiences, a pot of gold has some notable limitations. Practically speaking, once the high of finding it wears off, there’s a host of logistical challenges to deal with. Depending on the size of the pot, if it is completely filled with gold coins, the average person won’t be able to move it easily without some specialized equipment. It is also dirty, having been found in a field somewhere at the end of a rainbow — and wiping down every individual coin with bleach is going to be an annoying and time-consuming process. Then there is the fact that the gold is not yours, and its actual owner has a long history of taking magical revenge on people who steal from them.
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Plus, even if one can figure out a way to transport half a ton of gold bullion and escape the angry leprechaun, there remains the issue of what to do with all that gold — which is valuable, but doesn’t spend easily anywhere. Actually using the gold means depositing it in a bank, or selling it, and likely having to answer a lot of rather awkward questions.
Those are all problems one would not face if a pot — or, rather, a server — full of bitcoin was found at the end of the rainbow. Being virtual, it needs no cleaning or special care to transport, and it is much easier to spend directly than individual gold doubloons. You can buy a Bugatti with bitcoin. (And let’s face it, if you find a fortune at the end of a rainbow, you’re going to need to be able to buy a Bugatti as quickly as possible.)
And bitcoin, frankly, kind of needs some St. Patrick Day’s PR. Sure, the current price is pushing close to $60,000, but it still lacks mainstream street cred, and it has that nasty association of being the official currency of cybercrime. Leprechauns have mainstream street cred. Everyone likes rainbows. And wouldn’t it be better for bitcoin to become the ultimate symbol of getting lucky with money, as opposed to the symbol of technocratic currency speculation run amok?
And if bitcoin, or any other cryptocurrency, seems a little too edgy to put into the pot at the end of the rainbow, as of March 2021, there is another bit of blockchain-backed value out there: non-fungible tokens (NFTs), which certify the legitimacy of all kinds of digital content, such as tweets, songs and artwork. NFTs seem to be a way to not only capture wealth at the end of the rainbow, but to join the “cool kids club” as well. Musicians like Grimes and The Kings of Leon were joined this week by NFL icon Rob Gronkowski, who is now offering 300 NFTs in the form of a series of digital trading cards. The cards, which will spotlight moments during this year’s Super Bowl and the other three Super Bowls of his career, will be hand-illustrated by Brazilian art studio Black Madre.
And Gronk isn’t the only big name making a big NFT move this week: Jack Dorsey moved to sell his first-ever tweet for $2.5 million this week.
The words that were worth $2.5 million?
“Just setting up my Twttr.”
If one were to find a pot full of NFTs at the end of the rainbow, would they still be worth anything at all when the finder tried to use them — or would they end up being just another payments fad that kicks up a lot of interest and headlines, only to slink off unnoticed a few months later?
Might end up being safer to just stick with gold after all. But if bitcoin makes it all the way to $100,000, it might be time to make the mythological switch.
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!
