April Fools 2019

Microsoft Bans April Fools’ Day, Cat Videos

Microsoft Wallet App To Be ‘Retired’ On Feb. 28

Bucking the trend of the tech industry for the last decade, Microsoft has formally decided to ban April Fools’ pranks this year. In a company-wide memo, Microsoft’s Chief Marketing Officer Chris Capossela told employees that, this year, they were officially sitting this one out.

“I appreciate that people may have devoted time and resources to these activities, but I believe we have more to lose than gain by attempting to be funny on this one day,” said Capossela.

A source, who declined to be named, told PYMNTS that a separate email noted, in an attempt to boost efficiency, that the company is requesting for employees to stop attempting to be funny at all, on any day, and to immediately cease and desist the sharing of amusing cat videos.

“It’s just so weird,” cited the unnamed source. “Cat videos are like a thing. Besides what did cats ever do to Microsoft to be singled out like this?”

Employee reaction to the announcement was mixed. George J. Etson, newly appointed head of R&D, noted that his team has been working on its 2019 April Fools’ project for two years, and the team members are heartbroken to see their hard work go to waste.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to build a smart car that runs on MSDOS?” he asked.

This story was written as part of PYMNTS’ annual April Fools’ Day edition, all in the spirit of good fun. Any resemblance to real news is purely coincidental. We hope you enjoyed it.

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