Newest Swipe Dongle Includes “Personalization” Feature

“We think consumers will love this,” the designer said. “We think the payments industry has been lacking in ‘cute’ factor, and this new feature fills that gap.”

That feature: the Smile dongle. The latest step toward connecting consumers to new forms of payment, Smile literally puts a happy face on the Square reader, and then adds another dose of cute by fusing a Here reader to the top. “We think it looks just like a hat!” one team member said.

“We think the addition of a funny-looking face and a cute little hat will make consumers literally choose to Smile at the point of sale,” the team member said. “And honestly, there aren’t enough dongles in the market yet, so we thought this would be reason enough to add another!”

A prototype of the device is still in development, but the company is hoping prospective investors will at least get half a laugh out of the rough sketch — right before funding them with a massive round to support a new player in a space that’s obviously dying for innovation.

**This article is 100% fabricated for your enjoyment in celebration of April Fools Day!**