American Card Companies’ Response to Russian Pay Card Scheme: Uncontrollable Giggling

In response to recent sanctions imposed on Russia by the U.S. that bars American card companies from processing Russian payments, Vladimir Putin announced last week that Russia would set up its own pay card system.

This week, American card companies responded to the Russian presidents declaration, with peels of uninterrupted, riotus laughter.

One American Express executive who managed to compose herself through tears of mirth exclaimed “Really, that’s just terrific.  Pay cards are incredibly easy to set up and manage—it’s gonna be awesome.”

A Visa executive PYMNTS spoke to only managed to get out the words “…<unintelligible>…they’re internationally considered a Kleptocracy…<unintelligible>…wonderful place to offer credit.”

Though apparently amused, most of the executives PYMNTS spoke to did confirm they wished Russian official “all the luck in the world,” and noted this scheme should make annexing the Ukraine seem comparatively easy.

The above is part of PYMNTS annual April Fools edition and should not be mistaken for serious or factual coverage. This is all in good fun, please don't cite us.