Chinese Hackers Send FBI Fruit Baskets For Cracking iPhone

The saga between the FBI and Apple over the infamous San Bernardino iPhone took a series of unexpected turns this week.

First, the Department of Justice abruptly withdrew legal action against Apple in regards to unlocking the phone after the FBI managed to unlock the phone without Apple’s help. In a further twist, the FBI has also declined to tell Apple exactly how it managed to beat the iPhone’s encryption protections. FBI Director James Comey reportedly burst into an uncontrollable giggle fit when asked if he intended to ever share any information with Cupertino.

But even more unexpected than the fizzling out of the Great Tech Encryption Showdown of 2016 has been what various DOJ employees have described as “a veritable avalanche” of fruit baskets, flower bouquets and boxes of chocolate that have been pouring into the FBI since the announcement that the iPhone had been broken.

All of which seem to come from China and which are signed “Anonymous” or with the handles of various well-known cybercrime gangs.

“Way to go!!!” read the note on a basket stuffed with exotic cheeses and jam from around the world that was signed, “XOXOXOXO Operation Deep Panda.”

“Actually, the baskets and flowers that are coming into the office, those are pretty nice. I mean, yeah, what they symbolize is not great, but say what you will about semi-state-sanctioned hacking outfits in China, they really do have excellent taste in gift baskets,” one government employee told PYMNTS on the condition of anonymity.

“It’s the baskets that came directly to my house that were addressed to my wife and kids,” that employee noted. “Those were creepy, especially because they were so on point. My wife totally loved those skin care products. It was a little unnerving.”

Though Comey did admit that the possibility of beating Apple encryption setting off an unexpected wave of jubilation among international cybercriminals was an unfortunate consequence, he told the press that, ultimately, he believes it will be worth it.

“Frankly, the international cybercrime gangs are more the NSA’s and CIA’s problem than mine, so I’m not too worried.”

Editor’s Note: This article is part of the PYMNTS.com special April Fools’ edition. Any connection to fact is purely coincidental.