Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen Launch Celebrity P2P Lending Platform

Is your favorite celebrity in financial trouble?

Thanks to Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, now you may be able to help.

Introducing Celendrity: a new peer-to-peer lending platform that allows normal, everyday people to provide direct loans to their favorite actors, musicians, athletes and personalities who’ve squandered millions of dollars of their own personal wealth.

Inspired by Sheen’s recent $100,000 gift to Lohan, allowing the latter to pay her taxes, Celendrity will allow consumers to fund specific goals established by celebrities of their choice.

For example, one of Celendrity’s initial campaigns allows consumers to lend $5,000 or more to go towards another new car for Lohan. While users receive no guaranteed return on their investment, Celendrity claims that 100 percent of lenders “will make a profit at some point in the future.”

“We don’t believe in defined repayment periods or profitability guarantees, and with names like Lohan and Sheen – names consumers can really trust – we see that users don’t see the need for those measures either,” said a Celendrity spokeswoman.

“We’re giving everyday people a chance to help those in need. Largely of their own doing, but in need nonetheless. Who can put a price on that?”

Celendrity says it uses “state-of-the-art risk management technology,” to vet celebrities who want to use the platform. According to Celendrity, every participating performer, athlete and socialite is both searched on Google and examined on Wikipedia to determine their likelihood of someday repaying lenders. Celendrity also only accepts those important enough to earn the “verified” check on Twitter before they can apply.

In addition to Lohan and Sheen, Celendrity is launching with campaigns for Mike Tyson, Kim Basinger, Allen Iverson, Toni Braxton and Gary Busey, among others. For Sheen, the move comes one year to the day after his failed appointment as Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Sheen’s ascent to the top of the CFPB was stalled after a Federal appeals court found President Obama’s appointment of Sheen to be unconstitutional.

In addition to the online platform, the Celendrity app is currently available on iOS devices, with an Android platform scheduled for release later this year. BlackBerry will likely roll out the app at some point in 2017.

*This article appeared in PYMNTS.com’s 2013 April Fools Newsletter.