Retail Fail: When Easter Bunnies Attack

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Palm Sunday: a holy day for Christians to commemorate Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem … or … a chance to watch an Easter Bunny exchange haymakers with people at a shopping mall.

Perhaps it’s both. It was definitely the latter for anyone who happened to be at the Newport Centre mall in Jersey City, New Jersey, on Sunday (March 20), with The Washington Post sharing the story of one Kevin Pineda, an onlooker who captured on video a rather raucous incident wherein the mall’s Easter bunny (AKA an adult man in a rabbit costume) got into a fistfight with a shopper.

“I was just at the mall eating on the third floor when me and a couple of friends heard commotion going on downstairs, like yelling,” Pineda communicated in an email to the Post. “We looked down, and a woman was attacking the man in the bunny suit, and then the rest is in the video.”

That video, notes the outlet, received 1,000 retweets within the first 24 hours after Pineda posted it to Twitter.

Save for what exactly started the impromptu New Jersey Mall Easter Bunny Wrestlemania, the Post, in breaking down Pineda’s minute-long video, delivers a blow-by-blow of the proceedings, sequentially summarized as:

Round One — Partially costumed Easter Bunny vs. man in brown shirt; security guard with citizen backup joins the fray; red-shirt man throws punch; lady in blue gets knocked to the floor; small child runs like crazy out of the melee to find his mommy.

The Bell — Easter Bunny and brown shirt separated; Easter Bunny retreats.

Round Two — Immediate, surprise-return attack by Easter Bunny, who literally throws off his gloves (AKA costume anthropomorphized rabbit hands worn by an adult man) and takes a swing; all heck breaks loose again; Easter Bunny and brown shirt tussle on the floor; more security dives into fray.

The Post story selects a transcription of a bit of audio from Pineda’s video, delivered by an off-camera onlooker, that perhaps best encapsulates the incident:

“Oh, the Easter Bunny throwing hands! Oh, he curb-stomped him!”

Y’know … like you hear on Palm Sunday.